A Few Questions with Sherilyn Fenn: Days of the Dead Weekend, July 2019

I gave her the cherry bracelet she's wearing and the snail on the table. The cherry bracelet was made by Sweet Romance. I'd had it since I was a teenager. 

The following is a transcript of my conversation with Sherilyn Fenn that took place in July 2019 at Days of the Dead Weekend, a horror movie convention. 

Due to my anxiety, I have difficulty speaking to others. When speaking to someone like Sherilyn Fenn, I am barely myself. Some of my questions and answers make me wish I could go back in time and say more than I did or something else entirely, especially regarding Ms. Fenn's words about Zelda Fitzgerald. I've omitted some of my inconsequential words, such as thanks or acknowledgment of what she'd said. She spoke to me at length about matters in my life, offering guidance. 

I recently spoke to Ms. Fenn at another convention appearance where she permitted me to repeat what she said regarding Twin Peaks. 

AM: If you hadn't already been scheduled for Of Mice and Men, do you know what Audrey would have been doing in Fire Walk with Me?

SF: I actually would be scared that it probably -  he would have wanted some kind of - naked-whatever-thing. Which I mean, I'm glad Audrey didn't have to have that. And I love Of Mice and Men. It's one of my favorite roles, and now they're showing it in different schools all over the country, and that's cool, you know?

AM: I met Sheryl Lee. I didn't talk to her about Fire Walk With Me, but I've heard that -

SF: That's why I won't watch it! 'Cause she's my good friend. And I know that you can't make that and be asked to do all the things she was asked to do and for it not to affect you. It affected her, you know. That's not - who she is such a pure bright light, kind girl. It was hard to do that kind of stuff. Even Ray was saying it was really hard. 

AM: I know I wouldn't want to be in their place. When he (Ray Wise) had to do what he did.

SF: Yeah.

AM: How do you think Audrey knew Laura better than anyone else? 

SF: I think that partially the connection came from Johnny. She was nice to Johnny. She was kind to Johnny. She'd even spend time with him sometimes - and through that relationship - it's like - you can meet somebody and not spend time with them, but you know you inhabit some of the same ground. And that's what I felt that they did. Audrey had the potential to go and get in trouble and do all that kind of stuff - and it would have possibly happened if Agent Cooper didn't come along. It kind of changed her trajectory. But because I think that, you know, it's about - it's this small town and all the lies that are there - and all "it's so nice and perfect," and it's not. You know? And I don't think that Laura got what she needed from her father either. She didn't feel loved, and she didn't feel seen. That's why people oftentimes act out in behaviors that unconsciously will get them attention - or even there's that moment of somebody or something giving you attention. And they're young and naive, so they're getting themselves in difficult, dangerous situations and they don't even know. 

AM: Thank you. Do you know why Audrey was crying when she called Agent Cooper from One-Eyed Jacks? *

SF: She was scared 'cause she's in over her head. She has like all these heroic ideas, but then she's really there and, like, this is dangerous. I mean, if somebody finds out who she is, what she's doing there. And I also I think it was also like she's created this idea that they're partners in this. Like she's Special Agent, you know, Federal Bureau of Investigations Special Agent Audrey Horne, and she's not. She's a little girl in high school, who, you know, is a virgin, and wants to be with - loves this guy - thinks that's the one who's going to put me on his horse and ride me off into the sunset. 

AM: Some have said that they think Audrey decided to go on her own investigation because she cared about Laura, but I always felt it -

SF: It was more about him. Unfortunately, I am not trying to say she didn't care about Laura.

AM: Oh, no.

SF: But (laughs) it was him. It was completely him. And yeah, there was just instant chemistry between the characters. Doesn't mean we don't like each other as friends, because we do, but we didn't have that kind of chemistry, but somehow when those characters came together, something happened. And that just happens sometimes. Nobody can predict that. He was supposed to go out with another girl. I think he was supposed to go date Joan Chen, and then they started, "Well, they would be good, let's just go with them right now." So, yeah.

AM: When Audrey is recovering from her overdose, she says some things like, "Daddy, can you see me?" "I'm falling" and "His tongue so heavy in my throat, like a hand." Do you know what they meant?

SF: I mean, suffice to say one of the strongest things I believe about Audrey is that she doesn't feel loved, and she doesn't feel seen. And especially for any girl - woman - primary is that father relationship. And her father is like kind of an ass and I'm sure he's with many women and he's just thrown money at her and it doesn't matter. I think what she really needs is unfulfilled. So she tries to do childish things to get his attention, I mean, like poking holes in coffee cups and like fucking up his business. So I think those were just - It just feels to me like nightmares, bad dreams, you know, about my father, and I am in danger. She's in danger and going through some stuff. Also, something happens if it's the first time you start to feel love. You start to feel a separation from your father. Everything is a healing process in life. So David will show that natural healing process through that, through some of the work. So I think some of those things were coming up for her. She was changing and evolving a lot when we met her. My teacher and I worked on her. She was really just a very young woman who was just starting to feel her power and starting to maybe, you know, maybe pull away from Dad. "I'm not going to get it there - maybe I'll get it here. And I'm getting old enough, you know, that I can do that. I'll be leaving them soon." So maybe it was just one of those nightmares about some of her stuff, you know? And the throat is just random, but it's not  - because David knows that I was born with a umbilical cord around my neck, so like, turtlenecks any of that, I'll be like, "NO! I can't wear it." So he would add something like that, where there's choking, that's him. I said my palms itch - (then) it's in the script. He gives it some other connotation, but to me, it feels good if I push. I feel tension and a lot of energy in my hands. It didn't mean anything sexual. But to him, he makes it, see... Zelda Fitzgerald, Scott drove her mad. He went into her diaries. He wrote about her life. He wrote from her perspective. He never gave her credit. And she went mad. 

AM: Have you seen Z, The Beginning of Everything with Christina Ricci? **

SF: I saw the first season and was hoping there would be a second. There's a wonderful biography by Nancy Milford called Zelda. It's great. And the book she (Fitzgerald) wrote is just crazy. Save Me the Waltz. A really bright lady. 

AM: Did Audrey ask Agent Cooper to dance? There is one scene where they're dancing, but we don't -

SF: Hell, yes! She's drinking his Kool-Aid all the time. 

AM: If Ginnifer Goodwin could have played Audrey's daughter, what would you have named her? ***

SF: Aww, she could play my daughter. I would love it. What would her name be? Oh my God... Ava. Audrey and Ava. 

* The answer to this question might seem obvious. I asked because an earlier, deleted storyline seemed like a possibility. 

** Christina Ricci is one of my favorite actresses and I love period pieces, which is why it came to mind before anything else. 

*** Sherilyn Fenn shared on Twitter that she wished Ginnifer Goodwin could have played Audrey's daughter.